If you don't answer the phone then I will be forced to leave you a wonderful voicemail of me throwing up
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
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