wake up i wanna do it froggy style
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
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