apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
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