I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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