Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
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