Don't you send me to vm
Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
Randomize
