i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
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