I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
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