I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
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I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
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We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
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