did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
FML I accidentally sent the text about his bruised balls as a group text that included his brother and my boss.
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
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