: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
Randomize