I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
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