nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
Randomize
