Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
Randomize
