There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
Randomize