don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
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