the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
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CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
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I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
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