I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
Randomize
