I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
Randomize
