I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
Randomize
