Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
A woman with Alzheimer's pointed at me and said, "Don't forget to wear socks, because you're a lady!" I think it's legit advice.
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
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