No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
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