Just heard someone use the phrase "slut mustard" in a sentence. Win.
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
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