Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
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