We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
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