On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
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