I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
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