A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
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