Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
Randomize
