she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Randomize
