White coat. Heels.
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
i out mim tonsoeep
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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