If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
you will always have a special place in my vag
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
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