I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
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