Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
Randomize
