Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
Also, beer. Big fan.
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
We need to get me chipped asap
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
Randomize
