About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
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