dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
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