you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
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It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
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