but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
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