For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
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