When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
Randomize
