i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
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He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
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MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize