You made me cry and you don't even care
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
Randomize
