I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
Your dad touched me again.
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
Randomize
