She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
I am mentally ready for anal.
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
Randomize
