I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Randomize
