so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
Randomize
