the new apple iphone has a feature that can find itself if you lose it, apple is getting closer to making a phone completely drunkproof...
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Randomize
