she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
Randomize
