"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
Randomize
