the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
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