They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
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