real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
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