well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
Randomize
