Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
Randomize
