How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Randomize
