Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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