I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
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