What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
The bartender told me the best pick-up line was to look deep into her eyes and tell her your gonna flick her vagina
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
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