I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
Randomize
