Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
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