Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
Randomize
