I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
It's no shave November. This is our time.
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
