So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
Randomize
