Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
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